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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: Thebiguglyalien (talk · contribs) 02:22, 22 August 2023 (UTC)
I love learning about the political history of different countries. I'll have a review for this posted within the next day or two. Thebiguglyalien (talk) 02:22, 22 August 2023 (UTC)
Vacant0, I've posted the review below. Thebiguglyalien (talk) 21:56, 22 August 2023 (UTC)
I did some copyediting to the article. My edits can be seen here, feel free to change them.
General notes:
Short paragraphs and single sentences generally do not warrant their own subheadings.
Thebiguglyalien (talk) 00:40, 23 August 2023 (UTC)
Lead:
Milošević was challenged by Mihalj Kertes, Zoran Pjanić, and Miroslav Đorđević in the presidential election– The body says that these candidates were chosen to make the election appear democratic. "challenged by" makes it sound like they were actually opposed to him and trying to win against him.
Background:
with several problems such as problems with the economy, constitutional problems– Using "problems" three times in the same sentence makes it harder to read.
a possibility of the rise in ethnic nationalism– Can this say "a potential rise in ethnic nationalism" to be more concise?
Yugoslavia eventually implemented austerity measures to reduce its debt, however, debt, inflation, and unemployment saw a swift increase in the 1980s instead– It's not clear what this is saying. All of the commas with the "however" makes it harder to read, because it looks like part of the list. It also says "debt" two times very close to each other.
Martinov also noted that– Be careful with "noted". Even though we know now that he was correct, at the time he was just saying it, not "noting" it as if it were a fact.
while Stambolić also began serving as president of Serbia– How did this happen?
Although Milošević denied that he was directly involved in the protests, he actually had direct contact with the organisers of the protests– This uses "protests" twice. It could say "direct contact with their organisers" or "direct contact with the organisers".
Electoral system:
Workers would also vote for separate delegations.– How did this work? The article could go into more detail.
The voting system was complex; it combined elements of a direct, indirect, and the first-past-the-post voting majoritarian system.– This is what the article is about, so it should try to explain everything about it, even if it takes up a lot of space.
Serbia became a one-party state once the Communist Party took power in Yugoslavia in 1945– At this point it doesn't really matter how it got there. I suggest cutting this sentence.
Presidential candidates:
At a session on 1 November 1989– A session of what? The Central Committee of SKS? The Assembly?
multiple candidates were proposed for the election– Who proposed them?
However, no candidate initially wanted to run against Milošević– Why not? Was it risky for their political careers? Was it dangerous to oppose Milošević at this point?
Socialist Alliance of Working People of Serbia– What is this? What gives it the power to propose candidates? I would assume that SKS was in charge of choosing candidates.
SSRNS previously proposed Milošević to the position of the president of the presidency of the Socialist Republic of Serbia and was successfully appointed on 8 May 1989– This feels like it's important and should have been mentioned in the "Rise of Slobodan Milošević" section. And again, what gives SSRNS this power?
Conduct:
At the time of the election, Bogdan Trifunović was the president of the presidency of the Central Committee of SKS– What does Trifunović have to do with the election? He's never mentioned again.
As part of the pre-election campaign, over 10,000 conferences were organised in Serbia.– What conferences? What were they for?
Results:
Aftermath:
From now on, the president of the National Assembly would be the one who would schedule parliamentary and presidential elections.– "From now on" is in present tense.
All sources appear to be reliable. Great work on finding recent sources; sometimes it can be tempting to use sources from that year, but that's never as good as the sources that can analyze everything later.
Spot checks:
The congress eventually started with a polemic between Borut Pahor and Milomir Minić and continued with Milan Kučan saying that Slovenes reject Serbia's proposed centralisation policies– Where does the source support this?
With the help of Kosovo, Vojvodina, Montenegro, and Yugoslav People's Army delegates, all proposals from the Slovene and Bosnian delegation were rejected while Serbia's proposals were accepted. Thebiguglyalien (talk) 00:40, 23 August 2023 (UTC)
With the help of Kosovo, Vojvodina, Montenegro, and Yugoslav People's Army delegates, all proposals from the Slovene and Bosnian delegation were rejected while Serbia's proposals were accepted.– Where does the source support this?
The spot checks are generally good, but it looks like there are some cases when several sources are used to support parts of a sentence, but it's not clear which parts or whether all of the sources apply.
The article gives a lot of space to the background, which is fine, but it's more than the other sections get. There are no aspects that are missing, but I did list some points above under criterion one where more detail might be helpful. The main one is that after reading the article, I still don't really understand how the candidates were chosen.
No ideas are given undue weight. The article does not use any language that praises or vilifies any candidates or organizations.
No recent disputes, no significant updates will be needed.
There's one non-free image in the infobox. I'm not sure whether non-free use is permitted for election infoboxes like this. Do you know if there's precedent for this, or if there's any policy that talks about this? All other images are Creative Commons. Captions are sufficient.
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