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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: Etriusus (talk · contribs) 02:16, 7 December 2022 (UTC)
As promised, I'll take this back up.
Missing citations
website's online animation creation application.
born August 7, 1957add this to early life. MOS:CITELEAD should also be fixed
and Terry McGinnis.not mentioned nor cited in the article body
Dini wrote a number of episodes of the 1983–1985 animated..run-on sentence
Best known among Dini's original creations is Jingle Bellenot supported by the source, in fact, it contradicts the source
done-in-one storiesrequires further explanation, I assume this is a topic specific term, sentence as a whole boarders on being run-on
Dini co-wrote a draft...sentence is missing contractions
Dini writes episodes released on the website on a regular basis.present tense? Is this still ongoing? If yes, clarify. Also, there is no source
He returned to writereturned to what?
In the very same episode, he appeared...too many commas, not all are necessary
his wife, magician and voiceover actressI got a chuckle out of this. The grammar implies he lives with 3 women, his wife, his magician, and voice actress Misty Lee. Please reword.
extensiveWP:PUFFERY
having reached a weight of 320 pounds.how much weight was lost? sentence is unclear if this is before or after.
Alright, here are my notes for the first pass. I assume not citing every single screenwriting credit is standard MOS for pages like this. There are a number of sources missing, and that should take priority to cleaning up this page. Article on hold till 12/14. Etrius ( Us) 02:16, 7 December 2022 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
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