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Copyright Infringement: The Movie is an upcoming 2049 movie with every actor known to man in it. It's the kind of movie they only make once in a millennium. The movie that will save Hollywood from its own worst enemy... itself!
It is expected to be rated NC-17 for "Fuck You, That's Why!" which is code for "Strong, Explicit, Pervasive, Teenage Mutant Coarse Language, Super-Violent Violence, Sex So Realistic It's Probably Banned in 6 States, Drug Use, and Nudity". If that rating reason sounds ridiculous as all hell, it beats the living crap out of intense depiction of very bad weather any day of the week! What do you expect out of a movie called "Twister"? No shit it's gonna have an intense depiction of very bad weather. It's not like the movie's called "The Care Bears Movie III: We're Making Another 90-Minute Glorified Toy Commercial Without Any Conflict or Substance"!
It was made possible by a grant from Barack Obama.
Necrotizing ulcerative enterocolitis, also known as NUE, but informally called I'm gonna fucking die disease, is a condition in which your large intestine and small intestine not only ulcerates, but it dies. There is no cure. Nobody has had the guts to get this condition in recorded history, save for one man, named Johnny R. Davis, age 55, who got it on the morning of July 13, 1979, and died two days afterward from severe peritonitis because he couldn't get an intestinal transplant. Mr. Johnny Davis cried out "I'm gonna fucking die" a whopping seventeen times during his two-day battle with the disease, which meant that if Hollywood got their thieving hands on his story, it would be rated R for strong language. That is where the rather vulgar nickname comes from, for those of you who don't know.
It is important to note that NUE is not to be confused with necrotizing enterocolitis, which is an intestinal condition that primarily affects premature babies. This legal statement is mandated to be included in order to prevent confusion and potential litigation. It is also not to be confused with the inflammatory bowel disease called ulcerative colitis. This condition is said to be a "bastard child" between these two conditions, and has only happened one time in the history of the world from the time cavemen started building rocks and Fred Flintstone started having sex with Wilma to the high-tech, quasi-dystopian 21st century, compared to necrotizing enterocolitis and ulcerative colitis which occur at much, much more common rates.
Fecal impaction (where your poop gets stuck in your intestine), fever, inflammation, post-nasal drip, delirium, and feelings of disadvantage are common symptoms of NUE. As the disease progresses, patients may experience peritonitis as the parts of the intestine that contain poop and bacteria die off, trapping them in your peritoneal area. Of course, this is all speculative, since only one man has ever had this condition, but it was written by the American Necrotizing Ulcerative Enterocolitis Association of America, so you know it must be reliable and accurate.
There is no cure. Treatment is purely supportive. Patients who survive will require intravenous nutrition for the rest of their lives.
For the 2003 cinematic masterpiece that uptight cinema snobs just can't seem to like, see The Cat in the Hat (film).
For the 2003 cinematic masterpiece that should be released as a 4K Criterion Blu-ray, see The Cat in the Hat (film).
For the 2003 cinematic masterpiece which is one of the most quotable movies of all time, see The Cat in the Hat (film).
"The Cat in the Hat with Mike Myers is the best movie of all time, leagues ahead of any superhero movie. Those aren't cinema. But you know what is? The cinematic masterpiece that is The Cat in the Hat. I watch it thirty times a week and never get bored of any of the jokes. If it were my movie and not Bo Welch's, I'd have it on Criterion 4K Blu-ray."
~ Martin Scorsese
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