User:WillowW/Love (male)
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This article is an utterly wicked satire for the April Fool's Day on Wikipedia and not intended to puncture the male ego (much). Editors of every variety are encouraged to contribute with good humor, or to craft the female counterpart. :)
This page contains material intended to be humorous; anyone offended is encouraged to write a counter-satyr with as fine a wit. Please don't be discouraged by the requirement for wittiness; we women appreciate your various handicaps and will be glad to help you without receiving any credit. |
Human males (sometimes called "men") use the word "love" as a mating call to attract women. Ornithological research has shown that male zebra finches try out hundreds of songs, watching to see which melodies interest the females in sex. Similarly, human males try out different versions of "I love you", watching to see which is the most efficient prequel to intimacy; in difficult cases, some men even resort to lyric poetry.
Some authorities hold that men are hormonally incapable of romantic love, seeing women only as animate objects that obligingly gratify their desires. In support of this view, even brave men have been observed to shy from close dancing, serious discussions, and marriage, not to mention giving women credit for their work. However, recent evidence suggests that some men are indeed capable of love.
Men are sometimes considered the Helen Kellers of humanity ā deaf to friendly advice, blind to the bacteria growing in their bathrooms, and mute about their own shortcomings ā but some hold out hope for their redemption, if only because men occasionally write a good poem and know how to take a joke. Luckily for everyone, they are simple creatures with short memories, making them quick to forgive even the most brazen impudences of the majority of their species.