| Character |
|
Played by |
| The Baron |
A hyperactive puerile madman who claims to be the most evil man in the world. He notably tires out towards the end, and often finishes attempting to leave the stage in a strange fashion. |
Tom |
| Karate Johnson |
A martial arts expert who tells morality tales, ending with his catchphrase "This is karate" and following it up with a flurry of kicks which reveal too much seemingly accidentally at first, but it becomes more deliberate as the series goes on. |
Tom |
| Franco Franco |
A Euro-style crooner who sings inappropriate and nonsensical songs about his unfortunate family. |
Tom |
| Colonel Rudd |
A maverick wannabe vet who ill-advisedly uses his animal practices on humans. |
David |
| Edgar Ford |
A doddery old man, who's "unlikely to make it to Christmas". |
David |
| Nigel Livid |
A man who is constantly annoyed by today's poor TV shows. He storms the Channel 4 offices, only to realise he should stop watching them in the first place. |
David |
| Mr. Pratt |
The swimming teacher with the barnacle head. |
Tony |
| Tollund Man |
A 2,000-year-old peat bog man who has come back to life. |
Rhys |
| Malibu Man |
The Malibu man gets randy on Malibu rum and tries it on with a member of the audience. When they refuse his offers he turns to the camera and says "Oh, blow!". |
Rhys |
| Frank |
A man who wants to perform a bodily function, such as farting, but refuses to do it in a public place because it's "disrespectful", and says he'll be "back in da minute". He ends up carrying out his function inappropriately, and is frowned upon by a man in a bowler hat and moustache (David Mitchell). |
Rhys |
| Mr Whippy |
A domineering father who won't let his son (Rhys) get a word in. The sketch usually ends with Mr Whippy attacking his son. |
Tony |
| Emperor Boswellox |
He has conquered moons along with his followers, but his memory isn't quite so superhuman. He asks each member of his group if they would like a particular food item, such as a poppadom or a falafel, before moving on to the audience. |
Tony |
| Trish |
A woman who can only talk in a "comedy" language. |
Nina |
| Pru the Bored Housewife |
who does unspeakable things with household appliances. |
Nina |
| Stuart Ogilvy |
A frustrated middle-aged, middle-class golfer who literally gets steamed up about what's wrong with society. He makes several references about the "gowlf clerb". |
Simon |
| Mighty Mouse |
A racehorse who is unlucky in love. |
Simon |
| Singing Cat |
Taking place in a car, a singing cat puppet sings (meows) a tune from a TV soap such as Coronation Street, and the owner (Tony) utters obscenities at it. In later episodes, however, the cat would sing a popular tune ("Vienna" by Ultravox), and the owner would join in. This was shown at the credits of each episode. |
Tony |
