Ian Kerner

Ian Kerner is an American sex counselor, practitioner of psychotherapy,^[1][2] and author on pleasuring sex partners.^[3] He works in sex therapy and couples therapy.^[4][5]

Ian Lloyd Kerner
Born	(1966-05-01)May 1, 1966 New York, New York, U.S.
Occupation	Writer Sex and Relationship Specialist
Education	Brandeis University (BA) New York University (MFA)
Notable works	She Comes First (2004)
Spouse	Lisa Rubisch ​ (m. 2001)​
Children	2

Early life and education

Kerner was born and raised in New York City, where he lives with his wife and two sons and their family dogs, Jitterbug and Oscar. Kerner is Jewish.^[6]

Career

Kerner was a playwright before he was a sex therapist, and holds a doctorate in sexology.^[7] He practices in New York.^[4] He wrote for CNN^[8] as a health columnist, and for Men's Health.^[9]

In addition to being a Clinical Fellow of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (AAMFT), Kerner is certified by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists, and has sat on AASECT's board of directors.

Criticism

Kerner has been criticized by writer Samhita Mukhopadhyay for blaming second-wave feminism on undermining relationships, and poor advice on aggression.^[10]

Personal Life

Kerner resides in New York City with his spouse, Lisa Rubisch. Rubisch is a commercial director for Park Pictures.^[11] Lisa also worked on Daria and Beavis and Butthead while at MTV.

On June 4, 2025, Kerner and Rubisch's son Owen Kerner was arrested by NYPD Special Victims Division, alleged to have committed felony rape and strangulation on July 13, 2024.^[12].

Subsequent to his arrest, Owen was arraigned in New York Supreme Court on 9 felonies and 2 misdemeanors including first degree rape^[13], first degree criminal sexual act by forcible compulsion^[14], first degree sexual abuse^[15], second degree strangulation^[16], criminal obstruction of breathing^[17], second degree assault^[18], and third degree assault with intent to cause physical injury^[19].

Kerner pleaded not guilty to all charges and is currently free on bail awaiting trial. To date, his parents have not publicly commented on their son's criminal case.

Bibliography

• She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman. ReganBooks. 2004.^[7][20]
• He Comes Next: the Thinking Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man. 2005.
• Be Honest, You're Not That Into Him Either.^[10]
• So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex: Laying Bare and Learning to Repair Our Love Lives. New York City: Grand Central Publishing. 2022.^[21]